Seek Character and Chastity, Not Wealth

Keeping all this in mind, then, let us not look around for money, but for gentleness of character, dignity, and chastity. A chaste, gentle, and moderate wife, even if she is poor, will be able to manage poverty better than wealth; but a corrupt, unrestrained, and quarrelsome woman, even if she finds countless treasures stored in the house, will scatter them faster than any wind and surround her husband with countless troubles along with poverty. So let us not seek wealth, but a woman who will make good use of what we have.

First learn what marriage is for and why it was introduced into our life, and demand nothing beyond that. What, then, is the reason for marriage, and why did God give it? Listen to Paul, who says, “Because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife.” He did not say, “To escape poverty,” or, “To gain prosperity.” What did he say? So that we may flee fornication, restrain desire, live together in chastity, please God, and be content with our own wife. This is the gift of marriage, this is its fruit, this is its gain. Do not leave the greater thing behind and seek the lesser, for wealth is far inferior to chastity.

For this one purpose alone a man should take a wife: that we may flee sin and be free from every kind of fornication. Every marriage should be ordered toward this end, so that it may help us toward chastity. And this will happen if we marry women who can bring into our lives great reverence, great chastity, and great gentleness. Physical beauty, when it is not joined to virtue of soul, may captivate a husband for twenty or thirty days, but it will go no farther. Once wickedness shows itself, it destroys all the attraction. But women who shine with the beauty of the soul make their husbands' love warmer as time goes on and as they give proof of their own nobility of character, kindling affection for them all the more. When this is so, and there is warm and genuine friendship between them, every form of fornication is driven away. Not even the thought of sexual immorality enters a man who loves his own wife. He remains continually devoted to her and, through his chastity, draws God's favor and protection upon the whole household.