Section 6

Then, so that you will not think he is demanding payment as though it were owed, listen to what follows: “And show mercy to my master Abraham.” Even if we had accomplished ten thousand good deeds, he is saying, we still ask to be saved by grace and to receive this from God's loving kindness, not as something owed to us as a debt.

What, then, do you want? “Here I stand,” he says, “by the spring of water, and the daughters of the people who live in the city are coming out to draw water. Let the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please lower your jar so that I may drink,’ and who says, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels too, until they have all finished drinking,’ be the one You have prepared for Your servant Isaac. By this I will know that You have shown mercy to my master Abraham.”

See the servant's wisdom and the kind of sign he chose. He did not say, “If I see a woman being carried on mules or riding in a carriage, followed by a crowd of eunuchs, attended by many servants, beautiful and radiant in bodily appearance, then she is the one You have prepared for Your servant.” What did he say instead? “The one to whom I say, ‘Please lower your jar so that I may drink.’”

What are you doing, man? Are you looking for such a humble woman for your master—a woman who carries water and can speak with you? “Yes,” he says. “He did not send me to look for abundant wealth or distinguished birth, but for nobility of soul.” Many women who carry water possess complete virtue, while others sitting in splendid houses are worse and more worthless than anyone. And how will he know that the woman is virtuous? By the sign he named. And what kind of sign of virtue is this? A very great and unquestionable one. It is a strong sign of hospitality, enough to furnish complete proof.

What he means, even if he does not say it in these exact words, is this: “I am looking for the young woman who is so hospitable that she will offer every service in her power.” And he did not seek this without reason. He belonged to a household in which deeds of hospitality flourished above all else, and so he sought first of all a woman of the same character as his masters. “We are about to bring her,” he says in effect, “into a house open to strangers. Let there not be war and conflict because the husband gives away what he has, imitating his father and welcoming strangers, while she counts every little thing, cannot bear it, and tries to stop him—as often happens in many homes. So from this I want to learn at once whether she is hospitable, because from hospitality all our blessings have come.

“This is how my master obtained the bridegroom; this is how he became a father. He sacrificed a calf and received a child; he kneaded flour, and God promised to give him descendants as numerous as the stars. Since all these blessings came to us and to our household from this, I seek this quality before all others.” Do not focus merely on the fact that the servant asked for water. Consider instead that it belongs to an exceedingly hospitable soul not only to give what was requested but to provide more than was asked.

“And it happened,” Scripture says, “before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah came out.” And that prophetic saying was fulfilled: “While you are still speaking, I will say, ‘Here I am.’” Such are the prayers of noble people: before they have reached their end, they move God to assent to what is being said.

So when you are about to take a wife, do not run to people, nor to women who make a trade out of other people's misfortunes and seek only one thing—that they themselves may receive a fee. Run instead to God. He is not ashamed to become your matchmaker. He Himself promised, saying, “Seek the kingdom of heaven, and all these things will be added to you.” And do not say, “How can I see God? Does He have a voice to let me hear Him and speak with me openly, so that I can go and ask Him?” Such words belong to an unbelieving soul. God can quickly arrange anything He wishes without a spoken voice. That is exactly what happened here. The servant heard no voice and saw no vision. He stood beside the spring, prayed, and quickly obtained what he sought.

“For before he had finished speaking,” Scripture says, “Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, carrying her water jar on her shoulders. The young woman was very beautiful in appearance; she was a virgin, and no man had known her.” Why tell me about her physical beauty? So that you may learn the extraordinary degree of her chastity and the beauty within her soul. Chastity is admirable in itself, but much more admirable when it exists together with beauty.

For this reason, when Scripture was about to tell us about Joseph and his chastity, it first mentioned his physical beauty: “He was handsome in form and very beautiful in appearance.” Only then did it recount his chastity, showing that his beauty did not lead him into sexual immorality. Beauty is not the cause of fornication, nor does unattractiveness necessarily produce chastity. Many women who have shone in bodily beauty have shone even more greatly in chastity; and others who were unattractive and plain in appearance became uglier still in soul, stained by countless acts of sexual immorality. The cause of either one is not the nature of the body, but the choice of the soul.