Section 1

Just as someone shaping a body first sets the head in place, then the neck, and then the feet, so blessed Paul proceeds in his discourse. He has spoken about the husband; he has spoken about the wife, the second authority; and now, moving in order, he comes to the third, which is the children. For the husband has authority over the wife, while the husband and wife have authority over the children. See, then, what he says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is the first commandment with a promise.” Here again he does not speak about Christ or about lofty matters, because he is still addressing tender minds. For that reason he makes his exhortation brief, since children cannot follow a long discourse. Nor does he say anything about the kingdom, because such matters do not belong to that age. Instead, he tells them what a child’s mind especially longs to hear: that he will live a long life.

If someone asks why he did not speak about the kingdom but instead set before them the commandment found in the Law, we would answer that he speaks to them as those who are still immature. He also knows very well that if husband and wife are living according to the rule he has laid down, it will take little effort to bring the children into order. When a matter has received a good, strong, and orderly beginning and foundation, everything afterward advances according to a proper course with great ease. The more difficult thing is to lay the foundation and establish the base.

“Children,” he says, “obey your parents in the Lord,” that is, according to the Lord. God, he means, has commanded this. What, then, if they command something wrong? In most cases, even a father who himself behaves wrongly does not command wrong things. Nevertheless, Paul has guarded against this as well by saying, “in the Lord”—that is, in matters in which you do not offend God. Thus, if a father is a pagan or a heretic and commands something contrary to God, one must not obey in that matter, because it is not “in the Lord.”

But how does he say, “which is the first commandment”? The commandments “You shall not commit adultery” and “You shall not murder” come first. He does not call this first in order, but first with respect to a promise. No reward is attached to those other commandments, since they concern evil deeds and turning away from evil; but here, because the command concerns doing good, a promise is also attached. See what an admirable foundation he has laid for the path of virtue: honor and reverence toward one’s parents. Having led people away from evil actions and now intending to lead them into good ones, this is the first thing he commands—honor toward parents. And rightly so, since after God they are, before anyone else, the cause of our being alive. It is therefore fitting that they should be the first to receive the fruit of our good conduct, and after them all other people. For if someone does not have this disposition toward his parents, he will never be gentle toward those outside his family.

After giving the children the instruction they need, Paul turns to the fathers and says, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” He did not say, “Love them,” because nature draws parents to this even against their will, and it would have been unnecessary to make a law about it. What, then, does he say? “Do not provoke your children to anger,” as many do when they disinherit them, disown them, and bear down on them harshly, treating them not as free persons but as slaves. This is why he says, “Do not provoke your children to anger.”

Then he shows the chief means by which children will become obedient, tracing the whole matter back to its head and beginning. Just as he showed that the husband is responsible for helping bring about the wife’s obedience—and for that reason addressed most of his words to him, urging him to draw her by the compelling power of love—so here too he again places the responsibility on him, saying, “But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Do you see that when spiritual things are in place, material things will follow as well? Do you want your son to be obedient? From the beginning bring him up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Do not think it unnecessary for him to hear the divine Scriptures. There he will first hear, “Honor your father and your mother.” So this is for your own benefit as well.

Do not say, “That is for monks. Am I making him a monk?” There is no need for him to become a monk. Why be afraid of something that brings such great gain? Make him a Christian. Those who live in the world especially need to know the teachings of Scripture, and children most of all. There is much lack of judgment at that age, and this is increased by what they learn from pagan literature, where they are taught about heroes whom people admire even though they are slaves to their passions and cowardly in the face of death—Achilles, for example, when he laments, when he dies for a concubine, or another hero when he gets drunk, and many other things of this kind. A child therefore needs these remedies from Scripture.